Posted in Chronic illnesses, Motherhood, Tough Choices

Another New Year is Upon Us

As many of you may have noticed, I have not blogged here in a while and I haven’t done it that often in 2014. I can honestly say that 2014 has kept me busy. I have focused on my freelance writing and I had also posted at my single mom blog, in addition to my full time job. I have also been considering making some professional changes. I don’t want to go into any detail but it is something that long overdue.

One of things that I put aside was finishing up a novel. I started writing one, finished it and never got around to actually finalizing it.  I wrote another and blogged it.  I finished it as well but never really got around to editing and updating it. It is not that I don’t want to finish and publish a book. It is my dream but my dream has to be put on hold right now.

There are other things that I recently decided are important for me to work on. My RA and fibro have not been as well managed as they were previously. I don’t know if this is a result of recent stresses or just because I have started my seventh year after diagnosis living with diseases. I have also decided that while I had counseling in the past, I am struggling with other things I need to work on. I am smart enough to know when I need to talk to someone and when I need to work on myself. I am always willing to better myself because I don’t I can’t be the mother my children need and deserve.

In the past, I struggled with the setbacks that life handed me – chronic illness, my brother’s death, the end of my marriage, my mother’s stroke and then just trying to be alone with my kids and my life. I struggled with being enough.  For the longest time, I thought I mastered my biggest demons.  I mastered a lot but I am still not the best version of myself. I need to be the best version of me. I feel like I recently lost sight of who I am. I feel like I didn’t prioritize what was most important.  If I had, I wouldn’t have made a mess.

With a New Year just around the corner, I am working on making changes. I probably won’t have much opportunity to blog here but I haven’t lost my focus. I am just trying to figure out who I am again because I am feeling like I have lost that person.

Happy New Year to you and your loved ones. I hope 2015 brings you much good health and happiness.


2 thoughts on “Another New Year is Upon Us

  1. Wishing you a very happy New Year. Hope this year is filled with creative ambition and that the presence of RA and fibro fade in the resurgence of the life you want. Wishing you well.

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