I have not blogged in a couple weeks because I have not had much to write about. Life is going well, RA is controlled and I have no complaints. Still adjusting to my new job since there is so much to learn but I am getting slowly but surely.
We are going on three years since we lost my brother and this will actually be the fourth Thanksgiving without him. Thanksgiving 2010, he had just had the surgery to remove the cancer from the lining of his stomach. Less than a month later, we lost him. This is the first year I feel at peace with everything that has happened. I don’t stop missing my brother but the pain of loving him gets easier. I haven’t forgotten him and I never will but he would want us to move forward and be happy.
And I am happy. A lot has changed over the past year for me and I am enjoying life and doing the best I can to just live in the present and not over think things. Therapist finally discharged me. She told me I don’t need her anymore – apparently I am doing pretty well. I feel great and I feel like the worst is behind me and the depression, I don’t miss. I also know that if I should start to feel intense sadness and pain, all I have to do is pick up the phone and make an appointment. But I have confidence in my abilities and my strengths and I know everything will be alright.
I am notorious for over thinking and over analyzing things. Just ask my family and friends but I have made decision to just live in moment, day by day. Better for my stress levels and my health. With the holidays approaching, I just want to enjoy the time with my loved ones and just be me for once. The “me” that I was not able to be for a long time because there was so much happening in my life. Now, I finally get to be that person and I get to do it when my life in right place. I am blessed and I am lucky. And I am just not over thinking it.