Posted in Life in general, Motherhood, Tough Choices

Lessons Learned

In my last post, I talked about many of the things I have struggled with and how despite that, I always managed to triumph.  A couple days ago, I sat down and started to jot down some of the things I have learned about life and how those things have contributed to the person I have become especially in the past few years.

Some of the things I have learned are:

  • Bad things happen and people hurt you.  Regardless, we should not use hurt as an excuse for failure or to hurt others.  If we do, we only hurt ourselves.
  • Forgiveness is not an easy thing.  Being bitter, hateful or angry are easy but forgiveness is tough stuff.  When people say mean things or do mean things, they cannot be taken back. Sometimes, forgiveness is all we have and often times, we have to forgive to set ourselves free from the hurt we have endured.
  • Happiness isn’t about what you have, who you are or even what you are doing it.  It is about perception and choice.
  • Life is complex and it happens while we are busy making other plans.  It does not always make sense and sometimes, things happen before we finish doing what we need to do.
  • Life is like reading a book or watching a movie.  There is laughter, tears and obstacles.  Sometimes we stand strong, sometimes we fail and other times we are successful.  Through every chapter, we find out who we really are.
  • No one can ruin your day unless you let them.  You are only as happy as you want to be. Sometimes, people can stop you in your tracks but you have a choice whether to pass them by or let them dump their garbage on you.
  • Sometimes we have to stop saying “I wish” and start saying “I can and I will.”  Everything is possible once you put your mind to it.
  • Sometimes you have let God decide when the timing is right for any given situation – whether it is love, money or good health.  We have to wait patiently but we also have to grow and be ready for whatever God has planned for us.
  • Change is a part of growing up and growing into someone that you would be proud to know.  I have changed because life forced me to but I don’t have regrets about the person I have become.
  • Love can sometimes hurt and when it’s over, you get to cry, let go, be strong and be wiser.  And when you love again, you will know how to hold on to that love.  We also shouldn’t cry because of one person when there are so many others who make our lives worthwhile.
  • Let God in your life. Without God, you are alone.  I have let God in my life and it has allowed me to rid my heart of emptiness, hatred and hurt.

There is a quote from the book, Dear. John (I have not seen the movie) that reads: “When you’re struggling with something, look at all the people around you and realize that every single person you see is struggling with something, and to them, it’s just as hard as what you’re going through.”

There is definitely a lot we can say about dealing with struggle.  The fact is we all struggle sometimes and we all find ourselves dealing with challenges and even hardship.  In order to endure, we have to be willing to accept that there will be sorrow and pain and that these things are a part of life.  Moreover, it is normal and perfectly okay to feel overwhelmed with we are met with difficult challenges and admitting that you are struggling doesn’t mean you are a bad person or that you won’t succeed.  A struggle is a simply that.

Over the past couple years, I have to learned that sometimes it seems that others have it easier but fact is, everyone single person has dealt with some kind of struggle or hardship at some point in their life.  I am not alone and when I look at others, things are not always as I perceive them.  I have no idea what goes on behind closed doors nor do I know what others are feelings emotionally and mentally.   What I have learned, however, is that happiness and success are a choice.  We need to take our struggles, learn from them and create better situations for ourselves and those we love.

Tough times are definitely not for quitters and I have learned that I am not a quitter. Overwhelmed but I don’t cower or make excuses.  I just do what I have to do.  It has made a stronger, wiser and better person.  I usually stand alone and I don’t ask anyone to bail me out or take over my problems. I meet my challenges head on and I am better for it what I have been through.  Maybe that is what makes me so unique and I am proud to be that kind of person.

I know that it is okay to ask for help but I am a strong believer in helping myself first. I have learned that I have to prepare for the road ahead; that life will have challenges and that the only option available is keep going and not give up.  I have learned that by finding the good in every situation and allowing hard times to make me stronger and wiser, I can be a happier and more successful person.  So yes, I struggle and sometimes, I get overwhelmed but I am better for being able to take adversity by the horns and show it who is boss.


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