We all have events and people in our lives that have such a strong effect on us that they keep us from moving forward. In my life, I have found that if I know that I have to move forward, I eventually do. I have finally come to the conclusion that I need to move forward from a particular person in my life who has only complicated my life. I have tried and I have invested a lot of time (years) into that relationship but it is broken and beyond repair. I know that the only option left to me is to move on.
I have shred way too many tears and I have done a lot of soul searching and the in the end, I know the best resolution is to end that relationship and move on with my life. I tried for a long time to salvage and fix this relationship but in the end, all I felt was worn out.
That relationship did nothing for me but make me feel unworthy. I had this overwhelming feeling that I somehow had control of the situation and I could somehow change it if I were adequate enough. The truth is the only person I have control of is me and somehow wanting to believe that someone can change was holding me back.
I also feared what was ahead. I wasn’t clinging to the relationship because it was good for me. I was clinging on to it because it was all I knew. Fear kept me from letting go but it also hindered me from seeing myself as a person who was smart, wonderful and capable.
I am looking ahead and moving forward. I need to let go in order to look towards the future. I am envisioning a better life without that person. I want to be free to love myself without that person’s interference and a past that hurts. I no longer feel bad about walking away nor do I feel sorry for that person. If anything, I feel bad that I don’t feel bad. I am numb and I am tired. I have cried enough and I am ready to move on.