Moving Forward


 

We all have events and people in our lives that have such a strong effect on us that they keep us from moving forward.  In my life, I have found that if I know that I have to move forward, I eventually do.  I have finally come to the conclusion that I need to move forward from a particular person in my life who has only complicated my life.  I have tried and I have invested a lot of time (years) into that relationship but it is broken and beyond repair.  I know that the only option left to me is to move on.

I have shred way too many tears and I have done a lot of soul searching and the in the end, I know the best resolution is to end that relationship and move on with my life. I tried for a long time to salvage and fix this relationship but in the end, all I felt was worn out.

That relationship did nothing for me but make me feel unworthy.  I had this overwhelming feeling that I somehow had control of the situation and I could somehow change it if I were adequate enough. The truth is the only person I have control of is me and somehow wanting to believe that someone can change was holding me back.

I also feared what was ahead. I wasn’t clinging to the relationship because it was good for me.  I was clinging on to it because it was all I knew.  Fear kept me from letting go but it also hindered me from seeing myself as a person who was smart, wonderful and capable.

I am looking ahead and moving forward.  I need to let go in order to look towards the future.  I am envisioning a better life without that person.  I want to be free to love myself without that person’s interference and a past that hurts.  I no longer feel bad about walking away nor do I feel sorry for that person.  If anything, I feel bad that I don’t feel bad.  I am numb and I am tired. I have cried enough and I am ready to move on.  


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2 Responses to Moving Forward

  1. abcsofra says:

    Every single day I keep telling myself, “I can’t change people but I can change how I react to them.” Good for you. Unhealthy relationships can be more toxic on our soul then a disease. And the fact that you feel no sorrow in letting go, tells me it is time.

    • Lana says:

      Hi Deb. Thanks for commenting. I have invested alot of years into this relationship but for the past two years, I have done everything to prepare myself for the day when Ifinally decided enough was enough. The way I see it is: First time: shame on you; second time: shame on me. There is not a third time and it has taken alot of soul searching and prayer to get there.

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