Posted in Life in general

Aren’t You Glad It’s Friday?

It has been a long week for me. My kids have been sick which means I am working a third job – nursing them back to health.  That was hard when I had to nurse myself back to health as well.  I had a third epidural steroid injection for my neck.  The pain management doctor also told me that it would be the last time for some time and to meet with a neurosurgeon.  It is not an idea I am thrilled with and I wish that this was not my last and only option remaining.

Part of being a working mom means making the decision when to let them stay home sick, when not to, and when you have to pass the duty to someone else.  I have been passing the duty to someone else and I hate myself for doing.  Passing it off means that I don’t stay home with them when they are sick and someone else does. I wish I could but between my own chaos of RA, fibro, neck and back pain, doctor’s appointments, work, etc., I wish there were two of me.

My twelve year old went to school this morning despite the fact that he has been wheezing from an upper respiratory infection.  I didn’t force him to go. I told him to stay home but he had a science test and I figured he is better off at school then home alone.  He has a follow up appointment with the doctor tomorrow but I am still worried because I am away from him.  My three year old spent Monday with his Dad and Tuesday with his grandmother because he was sick and I felt guilty for that. My mom also had to attend a funeral on Tuesday so he ended up with his cousins in the afternoon and I felt guilty for that too. The epidural steroid injection appointment was Wednesday and I could not call off work on either day. I felt guilty again – do you see a pattern? 🙂 On Wednesday, I sent my three old to day care even though he needed one more day in bed because I could not cancel the injection.  I ended up picking him up early though and taking care of him through my own pain. I took the morning off from work yesterday to recuperate from the injection and the earlier part of the week.

You know that I am happy to see Friday. From five o’clock on, I can focus on my kids and getting myself to feeling better as well.  Being pain, a lack of sleep, muscle relaxers and pain medications, I can hardly function.  I need to rest and I am ready to do that.

This is what my life is like. It is demanding and while I would love to complain, I don’t really have time. After all, this is motherhood in the 21st century.  Mothers work and they still have to be mothers.  Chronic illness is also a fact of the 21st century and it accompanies parenting and full time employment. In some alternative universe out there, there has to be a better way.  But since I watch too much sci-fi, I am sure there isn’t.  The idea of a utopian society appeals to me.  One that involves happiness and good health.  Heck, maybe I could write a proposal to the president or something.  Of course, he will think I am asking him to critique a novel which he has no time for and the whole think will be a waste of time. Any suggestions?

Have a great weekend everyone!


6 thoughts on “Aren’t You Glad It’s Friday?

  1. When I was a working mom, before RA, there was a lot of guilt. After, RA, it definitely is worse. I think we as moms are sometimes harder on ourselves than anyone else would be. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Try to remember that you are teaching your children how to persevere. No matter what they face in the future, they will be able to be okay… cause they watched Momma do it time and again, no matter how difficult it was.

  2. Being mom definitely can be a challenge especially when you add in illness of your own. This week I have taken on more than my body can handle and I am paying for it.

    Lana, let the guilt go. Concentrate on all that wonderful things you are doing for your boys and for yourself. I bet if you started a list of the great things you do, it would go on and on and on. Honestly, I am always amazed at all that you can do.

  3. Having RA and working is plenty hard on me alone. I don’t know how all of you do it while taking care of kids also. Fortunately our daughter was in her teens (thought she was 22) and for the most part self sufficient driving and working a part time job. I honestly don’t know how you manage it on your bad days. Hope you feel better soon.

    1. With parenting, Terry, as you know, you can do the impossible. The guilt is there and sometimes, things can be hard be hard but overall, parenting teaching that you are capable of things you never thought capable and that you are stronger than you ever thought possible. I complain that it is hard, and no doubt it is, but I amaze myself often.

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