Posted in Tough Choices

When life tests us

I am not sure how many times I have already been tested in the last couple years.  I just know that I keep going and I have learned that I can’t just easily give up.  For the most part, I do it because I don’t have a choice and other times, I would rather give up.  We have all been dealt life’s curve balls and more often than not, we are not really prepared.

For me, the setbacks keep coming and I just keep going.  What else can I do?  If I don’t keep going, how can I teach my kids that despite life’s unfairness, we all have to be willing to stand up and take charge?  How do I tell them to keep moving towards their goals and dealing with life’s setbacks when it is not always easy especially when curveballs are out of your control?  Lately, it just seems like those curveballs keep coming. It is frustrating and discouraging.  It makes me feel defeated, angry, depressed and anxiety ridden.

I have learned over time that the answer to setback is how you come back.  Curveballs are only temporary setbacks.  I want to tell that to myself today as I start a new day where the stress is mounting and life’s tests are out of my control.  Someone once told me, that it isn’t the test itself that matters; but rather, it is whether we choose to give up or stay fighting that matters the most.

A dear friend of mine once said that she is tired of fighting and getting nothing in the end.  I understood those words myself.  I tried to comfort my friend when she said that but I knew exactly how she felt.  I am so tired of being the underdog but what choice do I have? What choices do any of us have?

As I sit here up since 4 am, I am not sure whether I can take life’s latest tests. I remember telling that friend of mine who was tired of fighting that everything happens for a reason but when we are in the fire, it is not always easy to see that.   I am in the fire and I am trying so desperately to see that.  When life is testing me, my RA and Fibro symptoms hit me hard so it makes the challenge even harder.  I have cried and have prayed and I can’t change a darn thing.  I just need to keep going and see this through.  What other options do I have?


6 thoughts on “When life tests us

  1. HUGS to you. I wish that I could help. I know that feeling all too well and it can draw you down into a black hole that seems impossible to get out. 😦 “If you’re going through hell, keep on going.” It gets better.

  2. Keep going Lana. Soon the fire will be gone and you will see your reason. Thinking of you as make your way through this new challenge.

  3. Your approach of keeping going no matter what WILL eventually lead to better times…doesn’t seem like it now but it will happen and when it does you will be so very glad that you did not give up of give in! Gentle hugs….Nan

  4. I hear your every word. And there’s not a darn thing I can do but tell you that I’m sorry. I think one of your greatest weapons is “fight”. I know that many days you don’t want to have to fight your way through. It’s what I do and while I dream of what I could all conquer if I didn’t feel so awful much of the time.
    Have you ever been tested for food allergies and intolerances?

  5. Lana, I wished I could do or say something to make it better for you. I know it will get better, but I know you get tired of hearing that and not seeing any immediate results. Hang on and push forward, soon you will see some sunshine.

  6. I have been mulling over what to write. My father always says into every life a little rain must fall. Sometimes I think it is a tornado or downpour that is coming. Another saying of his is that no one goes through life unscathed.
    In my family we have had our share of trying times. I have had Fibromyalgia for 20 yrs (a result of a car accident), chronic fatigue, DVT (which I had to learn to walk again and must now wear a compression stocking to walk for any length of time) and last summer I had three kidney stone surgeries in a three week period. The fibromyalgia which I had “under control” flared big time as a result of the three surgeries last summer and well I am just beginning to start to feel better.
    This summer one of my sisters gave birth to a little girl who has hypoplastic left heart syndrome ( she is missing a chamber in her heart). This little niece of mine has spend 9 or so weeks on and off in the hospital in her 3 months of life so far.
    My other sister had stage 4 Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma just 10 months after she gave birth to a little girl who died two hours after birth. She is now 10 yrs out from a bone marrow transplant. Two yrs after the transplant she ran in the Chicago Marathon with her husband nd her bone marrow donor. She and her husband now have a beautiful young daughter (8 yrs old) they adopted from China. My sister is happy and doing well right now.
    I know that when the storm is raging it seems it won’t stop. Know that good things will come and things will get easier.

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