I am not sure how many times I have already been tested in the last couple years. I just know that I keep going and I have learned that I can’t just easily give up. For the most part, I do it because I don’t have a choice and other times, I would rather give up. We have all been dealt life’s curve balls and more often than not, we are not really prepared.
For me, the setbacks keep coming and I just keep going. What else can I do? If I don’t keep going, how can I teach my kids that despite life’s unfairness, we all have to be willing to stand up and take charge? How do I tell them to keep moving towards their goals and dealing with life’s setbacks when it is not always easy especially when curveballs are out of your control? Lately, it just seems like those curveballs keep coming. It is frustrating and discouraging. It makes me feel defeated, angry, depressed and anxiety ridden.
I have learned over time that the answer to setback is how you come back. Curveballs are only temporary setbacks. I want to tell that to myself today as I start a new day where the stress is mounting and life’s tests are out of my control. Someone once told me, that it isn’t the test itself that matters; but rather, it is whether we choose to give up or stay fighting that matters the most.
A dear friend of mine once said that she is tired of fighting and getting nothing in the end. I understood those words myself. I tried to comfort my friend when she said that but I knew exactly how she felt. I am so tired of being the underdog but what choice do I have? What choices do any of us have?
As I sit here up since 4 am, I am not sure whether I can take life’s latest tests. I remember telling that friend of mine who was tired of fighting that everything happens for a reason but when we are in the fire, it is not always easy to see that. I am in the fire and I am trying so desperately to see that. When life is testing me, my RA and Fibro symptoms hit me hard so it makes the challenge even harder. I have cried and have prayed and I can’t change a darn thing. I just need to keep going and see this through. What other options do I have?