On Monday, I will be starting my new job as a legal assistant in the legal department of a realty company with an international presence. It is a great opportunity for me and while, like the next person, I hate change, I am ready. It is something that I have patiently waited for a long time and I am very fortunate for the opportunity. Am I scared? Of course, I am in particular because of my fear of failure but my fear of failure has either made me successful or kept me from doing things so I say bring it on.
As I type this, I am listening to Kenny Chesney’s song “Who you’d be today,” and thinking of my brother. Like the song says,
Sunny days seem to hurt the most
Wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
Still can’t believe you’re gone
It ain’t fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
The death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I’ve been through
Just knowing no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder who you’d be today.
My life has been through a lot of curve balls in the last few months. The changes that have come in my life are ones that may not have come if he had not died. His death taught me that life was too short. I have learned how important it is love myself and to not let others keep me from loving myself. As I venture into this new chapter in my life, I know that the choices I have made are ones that would make him proud. I know he would want me to be happy so I am learning how important that is every single day.
I know that I am not the same person I was before he became sick and passed away. The person that I am today is learning to that I need to stop dwelling on what I cannot change and working with what I can change. Change is hard but it is a very important of our lives. It is how we move forward when times are tough.
Anyway, wish me luck.