Posted in Change

Wish Me Luck!

On Monday, I will be starting my new job as a legal assistant in the legal department of a realty company with an international presence.  It is a great opportunity for me and while, like the next person, I hate change, I am ready.  It is something that I have patiently waited for a long time and I am very fortunate for the opportunity.  Am I scared?  Of course, I am in particular because of my fear of failure but my fear of failure has either made me successful or kept me from doing things so I say bring it on.

As I type this, I am listening to Kenny Chesney’s song “Who you’d be today,” and thinking of my brother.   Like the song says,

Sunny days seem to hurt the most

Wear the pain like a heavy coat

I feel you everywhere I go

I see your smile, I see your face

I hear you laughing in the rain

Still can’t believe you’re gone

It ain’t fair you died too young

Like a story that had just begun

The death tore the pages all away

God knows how I miss you

All the hell that I’ve been through

Just knowing no one could take your place

Sometimes I wonder who you’d be today.

My life has been through a lot of curve balls in the last few months.   The changes that have come in my life are ones that may not have come if he had not died.  His death taught me that life was too short.  I have learned how important it is love myself and to not let others keep me from loving myself.   As I venture into this new chapter in my life, I know that the choices I have made are ones that would make him proud.  I know he would want me to be happy so I am learning how important that is every single day.

I know that I am not the same person I was before he became sick and passed away.  The person that I am today is learning to that I need to stop dwelling on what I cannot change and working with what I can change.  Change is hard but it is a very important of our lives.  It is how we move forward when times are tough.

Anyway, wish me luck.


9 thoughts on “Wish Me Luck!

  1. Lana,

    I’m so proud of you. Whoever you are working for is going to be immensely blessed. Hoping and praying that you love your new position. Hope you have a wonderful weekend! Big hugs!

  2. Oh, I wish you all the best., Lana. You will be wonderful, as always. I think your brother is with you all the time. Love.

  3. Lana, wishing you super good luck on Monday. It is always scary to start a new job, but also exciting. I hope that you bring lots of good to the company and it also brings lots of good to you. I’ll be sending happy thoughts to you on Monday.

  4. Like you, I lost my brother. While it was 5 years ago, it still seems like yesterday-his presence is always there. At times my mom & I can talk about him – the fun times, the not so fun times, his beautiful writing (short stories & poems), his love of life, his incredible tolerance & patience. Last week when my son ended up in the emergency room, it was next door to the home where my brother died & we had to walk by it – neither of us broke down into tears, so I took that as a good sign that we are truly healing. When I think about my brother I see the legacy his death has left – it has drawn my mom & I closer and we are now more patient, understanding, tolerant & loving of one another. I have learned to let go & totally trust in God, which is a real comfort in my times of sadness. Keep praying.

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