Personal growth is the most important thing for any individual to do before they can move forward with their lives. It comes when we realize that our goals and our priorities have changed and when they have an adverse effect on inner selves and attitudes. As humans, we are fortunate to have natural strengths and, while not always fortunate, we have natural weaknesses as well. It is part of our inherent personal make-up and it determines how we succeed and why we fail.
In recent months, I have seen a different side of me and what has important to me to has changed because of recent events in my life. I have learned that I am the only person that can determine my successes and my failures. Some of that is inherent in my personality and some in my actions. For a long time, I was hung up on what success meant to others in my life without being fully aware of what was important to me. While it is normal to feel that way for any of us, my recent losses have forced me to see what is truly important versus what I has learned to believe is important.
We have influences (whether they are people, events, or other influencing factors) in our lives that determine basic values even when our values are different to start with. I have spent way too much time and effort trying to meet somebody else’s (this someday else is something metaphorical rather than a real person) idea of success all while ignoring the little messages from own psyche, I have become exhausted and unhappy. However, I have also had plenty of time to think and reflect upon my life in recent weeks and I realize that there is a lot I need to do to find personal success, to put my mind at ease and to actually be happy.
I am not sure when I realized that I was unhappy but my brother’s death was a rude awakening. I have learned the hard way that happiness is choice that only I can make. It is also something I have to create for myself and in order to do that, I have to look within myself to find that. Finding happiness is a personal responsibility and it has taken me a really long time to realize that.
And this is what I have realized:
- No one hurts us; we hurt ourselves. Moreover, we have to be hurt by others to realize our own mistakes and faults and to see that those things are just life’s lessons.
- We all face challenges and difficulties that we have to work though or around but our courage, patience and our strength are the sources of our happiness and not the circumstance.
- Sorrow and pain are part of life and neither is anything new because it is something that people deal with at various points of their lives. Regardless of the trial we have been handed, we need to be adult enough to move forward and take responsibility for our lives to get through whatever it is we need to get through in order to move on.
- It is important never to give up and acknowledge that sometimes, our best laid plans have to change in order to be happy. If something is not working out the way we need it to, then we need to change the course we are on to make it happen rather than make the choice to be unhappy.
- Pretending to be happy is a mistake as is forcing yourself to be happy. We all need to find some emotional balance in our lives and that involves taking a look at our lives and our circumstances. We should also look inside ourselves to ask why we are not happy, what things are hindering our happiness, and what it is we can do to actually be happy.
- Often, one of the most common reasons we are not happy is because we refuse to leave the past behind. I think that I have spent too much looking in the past that I have forgotten about the present. I need to do what makes me happy today rather than what made me unhappy yesterday or what I think I will make me happy tomorrow.
- It is important to trust God and trust yourself. I have put my trust in God and I have learned that through him I can trust myself.
- Happiness can only come if I am willing to believe in it. I am making it a goal to be happy and to appreciate all the blessings in my life. I am starting to see how I need to be aware of myself and my inner self, my motives, my values, my decisions and even my responses and reactions.
My personal growth journey is about making a choice to be happy. I am willing to be the best that I can be at any and every given moment. I am choosing to be happy. I still have along way on the journey I am currently on but I am getting there and a month from now, you will see a different side of me. I also will discuss what choices I have made to get there.