Last night, I braced myself for a nightmare fibro headache. The pins and needles feeling on the top of my head started and I knew that that would be the norm for the next few days. Two years and I finally figured out the difference between a fibromyalgia flare and rheumatoid arthritis flare (Can I be proud?). The only confusion is when they are both happening at the same time. Before the start of the impending headache, I was out by ten without incident. Usually, I find myself trying to fall asleep for at least two hours to no avail. When I arrived home in the evening, I asked my husband if it was Wednesday or Thursday. It was at that moment that I knew the fibromyalgia flare-up was coming. I felt extremely confused and the fibro fog was only the start. (And damn you, mail order pharmacy, where is my Lyrica? They said that I should have it today. I have not missed a dose but I only have one left. Probably my own fault for giving them only one week notice.)
As this morning rolled around, I coaxed myself out of bed at 6 a.m. so that I could arrive at work by 7:30 a.m. My children were unusually cooperative which was good since the fibro flare would have only sent me into a state of panic. At 7 a.m., I arrived at the daycare and set off the alarm in the building where the toddler and infant rooms are located (leave it to me to do such a thing). Apparently, the toddler teacher was running late. So, I dropped off both the boys with the older kids’ teacher and headed on my way to work. I grabbed an Americano from the coffee shop downstairs (from my office building) because I wanted something stronger than regular coffee. I was told by the young man who made the coffee that the Americano had less caffeine (Darn!) than regular coffee but its aroma and taste were much stronger (you learn something new everyday).
As I punched in for the day, it hit me that it was finally Friday. All week I waited for this day to come only to realize that my weekend usually ended quicker than my workweek. When did I get to a point in my life when I started sleepwalking through my life? Or had it been the norm for many years and I only now realized it because of RA and FMS in my life? I have often been told that I would make a great lawyer and I remind myself that that is in the cards regardless of RA and FMS. I am just waiting for the baby to be a bit older so I can go to law school and for my life to feel less stressful. (Less stressful? My husband says that will never happen.)
Meanwhile, my husband is walking around in a daze trying to contemplate his company’s future layoffs and whether he will be one of those people. My husband is a constant worrier and does not now to handle stress like I do. He also is often pessimistic so he is most likely jumping to conclusions for no reason. He told me that he felt he would be in safer position if he asked to be demoted. Twenty-plus years in the field of management and he wants to be demoted? This is the kind of economy we live in folks! Unpredictable to say the least. I remember growing up and my father working for both GM and Ford. There were layoffs all the time and we managed at least that is what I saw my parents doing. Now that I am the parent, I do believe we can manage like we always have – like I always have. My husband’s mind does not understand chaos and it is my mind that is the master of chaos and life management (He can manage a entire department but not our lives? Haven’t figured that one out yet.). Further, I know that my husband is blowing off steam over nothing but I won’t tell him that because I know my husband will never be as calm as I am under pressure. The guy freaks out if he can’t find the tie he needs on a certain day so I will let him walk around stressing himself over nothing because well, commenting will only make him worry more.
No word yet on that part-time position and the job ads aren’t actually full. It seems like no one is hiring so at some point, I have to start pulling together a game plan for talking to my supervisor about cutting my hours. (The things I don’t want to do? Welcome to my life folks!) My sister (the one that lives in NYC) is flying in tomorrow. She will be here for about a month and it will be nice to have another female in the house to commiserate with me. She also has two boys (ages 1 and 4) so my house will be Trouble Central (Yup, initial caps folks) and in addition to my toddler, they all know how to climb over baby gates. Hopefully, this fibro headache subsides soon because in 36 hours, my home will be filled with more commotion than I can handle.
The Diane Chamberlain book review and giveaway is still open. Tonight is the deadline. I am currently finishing up a Pamela Callow novel called DAMAGED and the review and giveaway post for it will be available at my new review blog on Monday morning. I have moved all my review posts there and all future reviews will be there as well. I can only handle so much chaos in my life. It is that darn Type A personality which refuses to get along with RA and FMS. In the meantime, enjoy your weekends and happy Friday!