I have spent too many days feeling sorry for myself and it is time I end it. For some reason, crap and bad news always happen together. Lately, I just feel weighed down by life and all my responsibilities that it has turned me into a chronic complainer. Instead of ranting and raving about the craziness that has suddenly invaded my life, I need to take a step back and remind myself whom I am and what kind of person I am. For one, there is no room to feel sorry for myself and second, I am a lot of tougher than that.
It may seem like so much is hitting me at once, but that’s not true because my life has always been crazy. However, lately I am losing a lot of the toughness that I have always had. Some of it is my health and some of it is getting older. For long time, I always managed to avoid hitting the curb and now, it is getting harder to swerve. So many people in my life tell me to keep going and focusing on my goals and my dreams but maybe it is time for me to step back and be patient. I have a whole lot going on it my life all at once and my health is playing a major role in my response to all this chaos.
I have a rambunctious toddler and an emotional preteen to raise. I have a full time job, advocacy work, and I am working on master’s degree part-time. For once, I think my plate is full. I think that maybe I need to take a break from either working on master’s or going part-time and I cannot believe I am feeling this. In some ways, I think my body and my mind are telling me to slow down.
One of the women I work with told me earlier today “you’re young. What is the rush? Focus on your children. You have plenty of time to complete your degree and climb the career ladder.” It occurred to me that she was right about my needing to slow down and focusing on my kids, my advocacy work and supplementing my family’s income. Perhaps, trying to climb the career ladder can wait a little bit. Why am I in a rush? I am still young enough that I have plenty of time to wait to start putting cracks into the glass ceiling.