Posted in Motherhood

Sometimes, parenting sucks . . .

I love being a mother. In fact, of all the roles I play my life, it is my most favorite and I would not trade it for anything in the world. With that said, it is also the hardest job I have. Having a child means a lifetime of worry and as my friend Ava’s mom always says, “It is a life sentence without parole.”

Being a mother to me is a privilege and one that I don’t always feel worthy or deserving of. Still, I am honored to be given such a privilege even though sometimes, it feels like I am not capable or even worthy. You are probably wondering why this woman is acting like an insane lunatic but I have spent most of the evening feeling guilty because my eighteen month old decided to make an attempt to climb out of his crib, fell, and broke his elbow. I didn’t know it was serious until after I realized he was not lifting his arm when he was playing.

I took him to the emergency room, spent two hours there, and the x-rays showed an elbow fracture. After I went through the “why me” and “don’t I ever get a break” routine, the guilt turned into the “I am a crappy parent” routine. I know what happened wasn’t my fault because toddlers never can sit still, but considering I know what pain feels like, I had to hate for myself for what happened.

Well, little Elliott has a temporary splint until Monday when we see the orthopedic specialist, but it does not mean I feel less guilty or less of a crappy parent. For once, I am not feeling sorry for myself; I am feeling sorry for my kids. And yes, even after the fall and the splint, he was still running wild and causing trouble like nothing happened.


5 thoughts on “Sometimes, parenting sucks . . .

  1. I am really sorry that Elliott got hurt….but you should not question yourself because of that….I am not a mother and can't even come close to imagining how you must be handling this….It sure is the hardest jobs of all and that is why you Moms are known to be the most incredible creation of God…and you are one of them! I really hope Elliott heals fast….My wishes.

  2. awwww I understand how you feel. I have always heard they aren't normal until they fall off the bed. Sounds like you have a rambunctious (sp?) kiddo there. Try not to beat yourself up about it…(easier said than done)….toddlers can sure move fast and do things you can't believe they can do! Kiddos are so resilient too….

  3. UGH, so sorry to hear this. As others have said, (and you know deep down) kids hurt themselves. They are curious and fast, and we cannot duck tape them to our sides because it's illegal.Big hugs!!

  4. Ahem. A "crappy mother" wouldn't notice Elliot's discomfort and she wouldn't bother taking him to the ER to find out what was up with him. Obviously, you DID, so that makes you a … good mother!Sometimes kids get hurt. It's all part and parcel of being a kid — and your guilt is part and parcel of being a loving mom. Please give yourself more credit, Lana. :o)Hope you're feeling good on this first Sunday in March. Spring is sproinging!-Wren

  5. You can't feel guilty over this or, by the time Elliott is five, you will have used up all your guilt. Then, what you you have for back-up support? LOLDon't worry about being a bad parent. My guess is, he would've hurt himselfd, with or without you watching him, one hundred and ten percent of the time. ~ Yaya Yaya's Changing World

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