Do you every feel like you just sometimes have a really good cry that is long over due? When the stress is adding up and you just can’t peace it all together and the stronger you try to be, the weaker you find that you are. I am long overdue and all t the stress is adding up for a good one.
I am the type of person that I can handle a lot but then all that build up comes crashing down. So here I am sitting at my desk wondering if it can it can any worse. Just when I finally figure out how to deal with all the issues that have been mounting, financial and otherwise, another problem drops into my lap. Don’t I ever get a break? My husband does not break down in tears, he just keeps to himself, but me, I start balling like a baby. And right now, it is long over due, but my office is not the place. I have four days off starting tomorrow to sort through this mess, but I want to cry my head off and scream that life just isn’t fair.
In all honesty, I am entitled to vent. I have RA and Fibromyalgia and sometimes it is hard to go my job (I am a legal assistant), but I cannot leave my job because my husband made some bad investment choices last year that still continue to haunt us. I figure it does not hurt to cry and it is actually helpful to cry. “According to Dr. William Frey, a biochemist and director of the Dry Eye and Tear Research Center in Minneapolis, Minn., one reason people might feel better after crying could be because they are “removing, in their tears, chemicals that build up during emotional stress.” Frey’s research indicates that tears, along with other bodily secretions like perspiration, rid the body of various toxins and wastes.”
I also have another reason I want to cry. Monday, July 6 is the 8th anniversary of the day I said goodbye to my daughters. When I boarded a plane from Jerusalem, Israel back to the U.S., I never knew how things would work out. That day, I lost a big part of me that I know can never be replaced. My communications with my girls are limited and I have not spoken them in several months, and yes, I have lived with it for eight years, but it gets harder the closer I get to that date. I understand and remind myself that I walked away from an abusive marriage and that I had no choice when I left my girls, but I always wonder if I fought hard enough to get them back. I accepted my choices long ago, but it doesn’t mean that I ever stop missing my daugthers.
My long cry is eventually going to catch up with me, but I am not going to try not to let it catch up to me this very minute. I will be patient at least until I get to my car. We all have our moments and according Dr. Frey, we all need that moment.