I wanted to share this beautiful song with you by LeAnn Rimes. LeAnn has a book out with the same title. A friend of mine emailed the video link because I have been having a tough few weeks. There has so much that has happened that has forced me to deal with a lot of anxiety and stress which affects both my conditions (RA and Fibromyalgia). It has really been a tough few weeks for me and I have realized that there are things that I do not I have control of, like the reasons for all my stress and anxiety.
I had this dream last that my father had never died. My father has been gone for fourteen years now and I was 18 at the time of his death. August 31 is the 14th anniversary of this death. I never stop missing him and wishing that he was here so that I could be stronger, but since I can’t bring him back, I have to make my own strength.
This week, I also came to the realization that it was all right to ask for help when I needed it. I had to rely more on my mom and my sisters in the last few days than I ever had to before. This was hard for me because I am so used to helping everyone else out and always being the strong one. I prayed for guidance and it gave me the strength to ask for help.
Last, when I finally had some time to contemplate the events of the last few days and weeks, (and after a trip to the ER because of anxiety) I realized that my stress was putting my health at risk and that, in the long run, would hurt my kids. I have some lifestyle changes that I need to make and the next few weeks are going to be a big test for me, but I have to make these choices because that is what is best for my health and my sanity, as well as what is best for my children.
I know there is a lot I cannot change, but there are things I can and I will focus on those. Happy 4th!
I am headed out now to the pool, then to visit Dad’s grave and then to spend the rest of the day and watch the fireworks with my sister and her kids.