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Monthly Archives: July 2009

Getting it Done Friday #3: Stop Trying to Be Super Mom


As moms, we constantly have to keep a game face on. We do everything just because we have too. After all, is there anyone else willing to do it? Moreover, each and everyone Super Mom wears that super cape and feels that she must be super all the time and every where. Super Moms are constantly trying to carry the world’s (well, almost) on their shoulders. The truth is no one can carry the world on their shoulders on a daily basis, even God, when he created the heavens and the earth rested on the 7th day. It can really take a toll on a person and there will be plenty of tears when it does.

I, as a Super Mom, worry so much that it results in nightmare on an almost nightly basis. I wear my Super Mom cape and forget how vulnerable that makes me. Every Super Mom thinks she is invisible. We are not our mothers, nor are the mothers portrayed in Ozzie and Harriet, Leave It to Beaver, Donna Reed and many more. Nowadays, Super Moms have twice as much responsibility. We need to take care of our families and hold down full or part-time jobs.

I work full-time, do freelance document preparation work, attend school part-time working on master’s degree, and I take care of my family while my husband’s job takes him all over the country and involves 60 hour work weeks. (I lost count, how many jobs do I have?) Every evening, I start the second shift. Arlie Hochschild first introduced us to the concept “the second shift” in the late 1980s to define the domestic work that working women perform when they arrive home after their workday is complete.

Nobody can manage home and work life without having it take some kind of toll on them. Unfortunately trying to be a Super Mom can result in physical and emotional suffering and stress related conditions. Many moms try and sometimes they succeed and sometimes they do not.

Here are some Super Mom survival ideas that I have come across in my quest to be the greatest Super Mom ever! (I think, however, that title belongs to Michelle over at The Adventures of Super Mom.)

1. Find balance: Prioritize what is important, – your kids. One day they will be all grown up and you will be wishing they were children again. And who cares if your housekeeping suffers?

2. Think about your health and ask for help when you need. Remember to rest and take time for yourself. I have learned about having to ask for help the hard way, when it finally took a toll on me.

3. Live in the moment. Spend time with friends and family and stop worrying about what tomorrow brings. Enjoy your life and the time you have with your children before they are all grown up.

I am as guilty as each and every one of you when it comes to trying to be a Super Mom. I have read countless books on how to manage it all. Below are some recommendations that are my favorites.

Dunnewold’s book is about creating a balance between family, self and work, also ridding oneself of negative thinking, perfectionism and control issues and anxiety.

You’re a Good Mom (and your kids aren’t so bad either) by Jen Singer.
Jen’s book is about the balance between Super Mom” and “Slacker Mom” and how to fall just somewhere in between. Secret One is the best – “Super Mom is Faking It”, and as Super Moms, we know that manage life as it comes.

The Secret Life of Super Mom by Kathy Buckworth is one of my favorite books, and I am constantly recommending it to mothers every where. If you are Super Mom, you will enjoy this Kathy’s book about how Super Moms manage their lives, and not necessary always in a graceful manner. Super Mom’s home is not the cleanest, nor are her kids the most well behaved. My favorite piece of advice is taking the kids out to eat. Let them make a mess, and sit back and relax. Let someone prepare the meal, clean and mess, and just remember to leave a good tip.

Well happy reading Super Moms! Remember, you are super!
 

Is your man gay?


Lately, one of my Google ads is a quiz about whether your man is gay. Apparently, mine is leaning between gay and not gay. Yes, I got sick of seeing the ad and decided to take the quiz. Go try it for yourself and find out whether your man is gay. (Paul at Adoption and My Two Daddies, don’t bother taking this quiz. Ed is gay so you are safe. :)) Before I start discussing the results of my quiz, I would like to say to those who wrote the quiz, you are so off! If my man was gay or close to it, he and I would actually be on the same page, and so if he was gay (or close to it), there would be harmony in my home.

So I made my way into the quiz and I see the following header “Nobody wants to think their significant other is playing for the other team, but anything is possible. Some men are in a committed relationship and living on the down low. Is there a chance your man might prefer the company of men? Take our telling quiz and find out if you’re at risk for losing your man to the handsome guy next door.” So the question was asked and I disagreed.

Some of the questions asked include:

How often do you and your man have sex? This was the very first question. Now, what does sex have to do with it?

Has your husband ever dressed up in women’s clothing? Now what a stupid question. Just because a male is gay does not mean he would dress up in women’s clothing. A straight male wrote this quiz if you ask me.

How many gay friends does your husband have? What does having gay friends have to do with sexual preference? These people need to get real.

Has your man kissed another man? Now, how would I know that? What kind of kiss are they referring to?

How does your man feel about porn? Okay, ladies any man who says he is disgusted by porn is lying. He may be too busy or not that interested, but when that porn is right in his face, he will sit down to watch.

Which best describes your man’s Internet habits? Look at these choices.

He gets online late at night after I’ve gone to bed.
He only gets online at work and for work-related projects.
He rushes home and gets online to check his personal e-mail after work.
I’ve seen some questionable sites in his browsing history.
He surfs straight porn but leaves the gay stuff alone.
What woman is willing to admit some of these? And I swear to you, a straight man wrote this quiz.

Next, on our list of corny questions. How many male strangers does your man have on his social networking sites? And the results were:
7% Too many to count
18% A couple randoms who “friended” him
45% None
30% My man doesn’t spend time on Facebook, MySpace or any other social networking sites that I know of.

I offer no response to this one, but my man doesn’t know Facebook, MySpace, etc. Yeah, lucky me!

And my favorite question in the entire quiz.
What best describes your husband’s bathroom routine when he’s preparing to go somewhere?
4% He primps and preens for hours
9% He spends an average amount of time in the bathroom, but spends hundreds on products
72% He’s in and out
15% When it comes to getting ready, he’s like a woman.

My husband is part of that 15% and that may explain why he is leaning to both directions. I believe the words were:” Your man is really in touch with his feminine side.” Again, I disagree. If my husband was that much touch with his feminine side, we would be on the same page, now wouldn’t we?

Now, you try the darn quiz. If for some reason you are not seeing the banner on my page, go directly to the quiz. Let me know where your man ranks.

 
4 Comments

Posted by on July 29, 2009 in man, quiz, rank

 

My Pal Scout Recall


This is Scout and my 11th month loves Scout. He sleeps with Scout, he plays and sings with Scout, and Scout goes everywhere. My Pal Scout is an adorable green dog with plastic decals on its paws. When the decals are pushed, the dog plays songs, speaks, barks, and even can be programmed to say the child’s name.

The Scout recall is a voluntary of about 3,700 units that were sold. The hazard is that the paws of the plush toy can be removed and apparently ingested by a child. Thus, they pose a choking hazard. There have been two reports of children removing the decals, including a report of a child ingesting a decal. Apparently, Leap Frog has asked that the toy be taken away from young children and that we contact them for a return and replacement.

So we took Scout away from the baby on Monday night and he was not thrilled. He spent the entire evening barking to let us know that he wanted Scout. He got up in the middle of the night and called out “Mama” and then barked to let me know he wanted Scout.

All I have got to say to is that Leap Frog better get their act together and send me a new Scout very fast, and they better pray that my little guy doesn’t notice that it is not “his” Scout. I am so tempted to hand Scout back to him, especially if he continues to bark. I will let you know how that plays out. Leap Frog – get your act together on this one.

For more information on the recall, go to the U.S. Consumer Product and Safety Commission website. You can also contact Leap Frog at (800) 701-5327 between 9 a.m. and 6 p.m. ET Monday through Thursday and 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Friday or visit their website.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on July 28, 2009 in Leap Frog, My Pal Scout

 

Children of the Eighties


Are you a child of the Eighties? That is the name I prefer over Generation-X, a term created by some old fart over the age of 50 trying to figure out how to describe us.

When I came home from school, I played Atari and watched Scooby Doo. Daphne was the gal all the guys loved and Shaggy looked like he had been smoking weed since breakfast. Everyone, of course, hated that annoying Scrappy. My siblings and I woke up at 6 a.m. to watch Saturday morning cartoons. We had only one TV in the house. Remember the “Smurfs”, “Captain Caveman” and “Space Ghost”. Remember “School House Rock?”

Do you remember pretending to be the Dukes of Hazard? What was the deal with them climbing out of the windows of the General Lee? Remember “Material Girl” and “Beat It!” We knew how to Moonwalk. We dreamed about being on StarSearch. You had a special place in my heart for Michael J. Fox and Back to the Future.

Do remember reciting lines from Ghostbusters? How about watching shows like the A Team and Knight Rider? Remember pretending to be Mr. T or Michael Knight? I had a crush on Dirk Benedict. Our favorite shows were Silver Spoons, The Cosby Show, Punky Brewster, and Family Ties. And we knew what “Willis” was “talking ‘bout.” Remember putting your homework aside to watch the Afterschool Special (I think it was on ABC). Remember when cable came out and Nickelodeon? Remember Charles in Charge girls? I still have a special place in my heart for Scott Baio.

We read Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, Beverly Clearly and Judy Blume books. We loved friendship bracelets and Necklaces. (As a matter of fact, my best friend April still has both halves of the best friend necklace.) We wore Velcro Reeboks and pegged jeans. Remember our layered socks and our jean jackets? Hey girls, remember Rave?

Moms always served Kool-Aid and we never drank Coke or Pepsi. Our entertainment consisted of playing outside and we would play for hours. Remember Sit-n-Spin – it always made us dizzy, but we kept playing. Remember Pogo sticks and playing jump rope.

The eighties was news worthy as well. Do you remember what an admired president Ronald Reagan was? Star Wars wasn’t just a movie. The Challenger exploded. (I was in 4th grade and we were in the library watching it on television.) It was a very sad day. Remember the protests in China’s Tiananmen Square. Do you remember how amazing it felt when the Berlin Wall fell? We saw the end of the Soviet Union and Communism. We learned about AIDs. And we listened to Billy Joel and we weren’t the ones who started the fire.

The eighties was a decade that redefined what the American Dream was all about. Half of our parents got divorced. We actually said no to drugs. We remember a time when Saturday Night Live was funny and Chris Farley lived in a van by the lake. Partying like it was “1999” still was ten years away. And we believed that “By the Power of Greyskull, you had the power!” We knew the Artist Formally Known as Prince when he was just “Prince”

Remember Trapper Keepers and how you just had to have one? How about Molly Ringwald and the Facts of Life? Freddy Krouger? Kids Incorporated? Did you have a crush on one of the Coreys? Did you have the Pac Man high score? Did you own a t-shirt that said “I shot J.R.?” Who shoot J.R. anyway and how many times did he actually die? Did your parents let you watch Dallas or Dynasty? Remember the movie “The Day After,” and how it still scares the heck of you? How about playing Simon Says? The electronic game?

I could go and on about the eighties, but my lunch hour is nearly over. What are your 80s memories? Please feel free to comment and let us know.
 
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Posted by on July 28, 2009 in children, Eighties

 

Follow Friday #3 – Three Blogs I Have Stalked So Much, I Should Be Arrested


Here is another installment of Follow Friday. I stalked these blogs so much I should probably be arrested. I hope you enjoy these three as much as do.

Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy takes superheroing to another level blogging about RA every opportunity he gets and offering support along the way. RA Guy’s story is about the “Adventures of a superhero on his journey through chronic pain and debilitating inflammation.” Like most of us with RA, RA Guy was diagnosed in his 30s (RA is most commonly diagnosed in the 20, 30 and 40 age groups) and since this diagnosis, RA Guy has picked up a great deal of information about rheumatoid arthritis. RA Guy has dealt with the useless meds, the major aches and pains associated with the condition, and that all-the-time sick feeling, the depression, and finally learned how to manage his RA.
Part of that management included therapy and thus, the Adventures of RA Guy was born. Humor is a great medicine, isn’t it? Make sure you check out RA Guy’s 60 Second Guide to RA which gives the short version of what RA is all about and is something even SpongeBob would totally understand.
Here is video made by RA Guy about the RA rollcoaster and what an RA flareup is like.
http://www.youtube.com/v/hjZ9XxmQxN4&hl=en&fs=1&

I am Living Proof God Has a Sense of Humor Helene is a great example of “be careful what you ask for.” After struggling to have children, Helene and her husband were blessed with not one, but two sets of twins. Being a stay-at-home mom to two sets of twins has its challenges, but it is to the advantage of the rest of us, Helene blogs to keep herself sane. Helene’s recent memo to the bosses is one for the blog books, as I am not quite sure the bosses are old enough to read quite yet, but they will in time. Here is an excerpt from part 1 of that memo:

“I am proposing a change in my hours (don’t you love how I make it sound as if it’s your decision but we all know it’s really not). I would appreciate not being expected to clock in any earlier than 7:00 am and I’d like to complete my work day by at least 8:00 pm, if not earlier. I’d also like to only be on-call at night for emergencies only, like when you have a nightmare in the middle of the night or if you wet your bed…..emergencies that do not constitute paging me: you have a booger in your nose that’s not quite within your reach or because you’re scared that your eyelashes are going to disappear if you close your eyes for too long. I haven’t decided if “my butt itches” is considered an emergency….I suppose it depends on WHY your butt itches but, chances are, it’s something that can wait until the next morning.”

For this and more great parenting advice, especially when it comes to time-outs at Helene’s, be sure to check out her blog.

Adoption and My Two Daddies Ever wished you had two daddies? I did, especially since my mother never let us get away with anything. Think about it, two daddies means getting away with twice as much. Well, Adoption and My Two Daddies is Paul’s blog all about his precious little Andrew. After 14 years together, Paul and Ed welcomed their son into the world on Christmas Eve 2007. Andrew is an adorable little character and if you did not know that he was adopted, you wouldn’t believe it. He is so much like Paul. I am sure he shares some of Ed’s qualities, but Paul is the one who blogs, the readers don’t know Ed all that well. Take a look at this video where Andrew is trying to eat all by himself. I could have watched this adorable little guy for hours. Andrew particularly melted by heart in another video where Paul tries to make a comparison between gay dads and straight dads. Andrew stole the show, and well, Paul, not so convincing. Paul and Ed plan on adopting another child, a baby girl, so stay tuned.

Well, here my three Follow Friday blogs that “I Have Stalked So Much, I Should Be Arrested” for the month of July. Make sure you check them out. What are your favorites?

 
4 Comments

Posted by on July 24, 2009 in Follow Friday

 

Thursday Thirteen: 13 Ways RA and Fibromyalgia Have Changed Me


1. I appreciate the little things, like being able to run in the park with my kids.
2. I have learned to ask for help when I need it.
3. I have learned to focus on my strengths and not dwell on my weaknesses.
4. I focus on the things I have control over instead of the ones I don’t.
5. I have learned that change is inevitable and not always in my control.
6. I understand that is okay to be weak, as long as you do not let it consume you.
7. I have learned to reach out more.
8. Despite not loving what RA and Fibro have done to me physically, I love that I have changed as a person in more ways than I thought I ever could.
9. I have embraced my faith and belief in God more than I ever have. I have learned that God is here for every one of his children, religious or not so religious.
10. I have learned to eat healthier and to take my meds and vitamins as scheduled, instead of whenever I feel like it.
11. I have learned that money and material things do not make the person, but it is what is inside that holds greater meaning.
12. I have started to let go of things in my past that I was once ashamed of.
13. I have learned what it takes to hold a marriage together and what it takes to tear a marriage apart.

Happy Thursday Everyone! Visit the official home of Thursday Thirteen to join in on all the fun!

 
7 Comments

Posted by on July 22, 2009 in Thursday Thirteen

 

The Power of Ten Brought to you by RA Guy


Thanks RA Guy for reminding us that we all have the ability to raise awareness about rheumatoid arthritis.

The Power of TenTake ten minutes over the next ten days and talk to at least ten people about rheumatoid arthritis. Real awareness comes from real people! www.rheumatoidarthritisguy.com/10

Go ahead and print out ten copies of Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy’s “60-Second Guide to RA” and share it. Email ten people with the link to the guide. You can blog about. You canTweet about! Share it within any social networks you belong to. Just spread the word and ask everyone you spread the word too to keep spreading the awareness.

Lack of understanding is big issue that people who suffer from rheumatoid arthritis face on a daily basis so please help bring about change. Help raise the awareness of rheumatoid arthritis. All it takes is ten minutes.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on July 22, 2009 in awareness, rheumatoid arthritis

 
 
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