Posted in morning, moron

Morning Moron

It is only a bit after 9 am and here are all the stupid things I have said this morning:

Around 6:45 am – conversation with my nine year old:
Son: Hey mom, you know what (insert bully’s name here) told me?
Me: What sweetie? (Don’t really why to hear about bully.)
Son: His dad dropped him off at his grandmas one day, told him he would be back in the night, and never came back.
 Me: Ahhhh! Poor kid!
Son: You know what mom? Me: What sweetie? Son: I am a lucky kid. (w/a huge smile beaming from ear to ear)
Me: Oh, yes sweetie, you are. You have two parents who love you more than anything in the world. (By this point, I get all teary-eyed.)
Son: Are you going to cry? You better not!
Yes, my son knows me!

About 7:40 – The girl at the gas station, after the daycare drop (I actually kept my mouth shut during that drop.): Girl: You have your fuel card? Me: On my keychain – here it is. Wow, every place you go has these! ToysRUS has them now too! Girl: Really? Me: Yeah, I get the seventh box of diapers for free! The girl, perky and about age 18, stayed quiet. By that point I felt really old.

About 7:50 am. The drive to work – a call to my husband who works nightshift: Me: Hey honey, don’t forget to drop off the key for the back door to our tenant. Hubby : Ah, huh… Me: Did you forget? Hubby: Kind of… Me: Well you need to drop them off? Hubby: Ah huh? Me: You better drop them off! Hubby: Or what? Me: I don’t know! No sex for a week! Hubby: I will drop them off. Apparently, my husband forget that we only have sex once a week, since he works nights and I work days and we never see each other, and the new week (for flipping the mattress as I call it) just started.

About 8:00a.m. –Driving to work and listening to the radio – Mantel in the Morning on WGAR. The morning show crew is making fun of Mantel saying that he is going through a mid-life crisis because he recently started driving a coup so they call Mantel’s wife who says that he went through a mid-life “moment” after kids went off to college when he bought a motorcycle. Jim Mantel: I went through a mid-life crisis without knowing it! Me: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I love you Jim! You are the best! You always make my day! (Still laughing hysterically and I am sure anyone on the road who saw me must thought I was insane.)

About 8:30 on the elevator going up to my office. I see Goofy Steve (GS) – one of the attorneys I work for: Goofy Steve: You have looking pretty rested these days; baby must be sleeping well at night. Me: Baby’s been sleeping well at night for weeks. It is the drugs – they are finally working. Not another word came out of Steve.

The truth is that GS does not know I have RA, Fibromyalgia and spinal arthritis along with all the other crazy conditions that go with these diseases so it should leave him guessing what drugs I am and for what.

Sometimes, I say I hate my life, but I only say that because I am exhausted. The truth is I have a great life filled with amazing and crazy moments. If my life was sitcom – I guarantee you would watch it.


2 thoughts on “Morning Moron

  1. Awe. I love how your son knows h’s lucky. What a warm fuzzy feeling!I wonder if the 18 yr old thought you were getting free diapers with fuel card? lol!I suppose now you will be office gossip till you come clean. get it? come Clean? Because of the drugs? Trust me. It was funnier in my head. 😛

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