Posted in blog, mommy brain, writer's block

Writer’s Block

It is official! I have run out of things to say! (Not possible, you say?) It is like in a dream when you open your mouth to speak and nothing comes out.

Actually, I have plenty to say, it just isn’t really that interesting.

• Like the fact that I went to a parent teacher conference last night and I came home with plenty of hugs to give away, especially to my nine year old who brought home straight Bs. Did I hear an Amen! Yes, those tutor dollars were worth it and to think, I thought I was tossing money in the trash.

• Like the fact I just got a new attorney assignment at work and no one got laid off! Now that is a hallelujah for sure. My supervisor asked me which one of my other two assignments I wanted to give up and I told her neither. (Don’t call me an idiot just yet.) I already work for two of the sweetest guys in the world. Dan treats me like a daughter and Steve; well, I am not always sure how to describe Steve. He is like the annoying little brother that thinks you have all the answers and that you wouldn’t trade for the entire world even when he is slowly torturing you with his nagging. If I could write a really terrible poem about Steve it would go something like this:

Ode to Steve:
Oh Steve, how you love to drive me crazy with your last minute filings!
But I know that despite the fact you stay up nights contemplating ways to make me insane, you still appreciate all I do!
Oh Steve, how I often wish I could strangle you especially when you call frantically from the courthouse!
But I know that if you didn’t have me in your life your stress turned high blood pressure would land you in a hospital or even an insane asylum!
So Steve, given the opportunity to throw you off the island, there are plenty of others I would throw to the sharks first.
Because, and I will be the first to admit, if it wasn’t for you, this Super Mom’s days would be utterly boring and mind-numbing.
God knows I love to pull out my hair several times in a day!
After all, its exercise for the brain!

Agreed, that was terrible. Now back to the things that are too boring to blog about.

• The baby’s constant drooling and no teeth yet. He drools more than a leaky faucet.
• Or my husband’s fixation with being clean. He takes three showers a day and more, if I would let him. If he was a plumber or a garbage man, I would understand but for goodness sake, he works in middle management.
• Or my nine year’s old obsession with the reasons “why” I won’t do this or that. Sometimes, it is so bad I want to shove him in a closest and lock the door. Better yet, I want to find a closet that locks from the inside for me to hide in.
• Or my mom’s constant nagging about “why I don’t come over”. It is like a broken record, over and over. I don’t come over as often as she would like because I work full-time and have only two days off – which I use to clean my home, do 12 loads of laundry, grocery shop – you know the drill, after all your mom is a Jewish mother too.
• Or my brother who calls only when he needs something. I stopped answering the phone. How is it possible that I do not have time for his “little – desperately needed” favors?
• And those annoying older ladies (those lifers that have worked at my law firm since the Stone Age) that have nothing better to do than to stand around the water cooler and gossip about who is chasing who and who is ticking who off these days. Meanwhile, the rest of us are working our lives away trying to keep our bills paid and the company afloat. Yes, you know those people. I am sure you have them at your place of employment as well. Too much seniority to get fired, warned or even slapped around.
• Last, why do I only get my revolutions when I get to the bathroom? Everything hits me when I can’t write it down because after all, I am suffering from Mommy Brain – that incurable disease that doesn’t kill you and only makes you stronger the older your kids get.

And the list goes on and on of the things in my life that are to boring to brag/blog about. So please pass along some inspiration and ideas and I shall blog. Come on, you know you want to.


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