Every year, I make a list of things I am going to change for the New Year and I never follow through. This year, I refuse to make a single resolution. Not that I don’t need to, I just know that my list will never be completed.
When I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, the world suddenly stood still for me. For the first time, in probably my entire life, I saw the world more clearly. At first, I was in a trance – a state of denial, I suppose. Then, I was angry at God and the world. Last, I accepted it. My anger or sadness wasn’t going to change anything and all it would do was make me miserable. I realized that despite having RA, I had a lot more in my life to be grateful for and RA couldn’t take that away from me.
My eight year old turns nine in a couple of weeks and turning in a great young man before my very eyes. My baby is almost 4 months and growing up so fast. Moreover, I finally got my wish. I have reconnected my three daughters after eight years of having no contact with them. I have a good husband, who despite all my flaws, loves me for who I am. I have a mother who thinks I am indispensable and sisters who would do anything for me. I have friends who would be there for me in a heartbeat. My life may be boring and sometimes, yes, I want more, but it is fulfilled. I have more than most people do.
Therefore, I have decided that setting New Years resolutions is for fools. Sure, I still need to rid myself of all that baby weight. Sure, I still need to minimize my debts. Sure, I really need to focus on completing my master’s degree. Sure, I have a list of things I should and would like to get too, but the only thing I want to do is enjoy life a little bit more. I want to enjoy the life I already have. “Cry a little less, laugh a little more” (I took that line from a Tim McGraw song). And I will get to all those other things. I am just not doing to dwell on them if I don’t nor am I going to make a list that I will never complete.
Life’s too short. I know, but for now, I just want to take that journey as slow as I possibly can. I am going to cherish every minute of every day and stop dwelling on the things I cannot change. And nothing, including RA, is going to stop me. As for the rest of you fools, feel free to continue making lists that you don’t have time for and will give up on by April 1st. Life is a blessing. Go out and enjoy it with the ones you love instead.