I am okay with that


In my last post, I talked about how the universe wants me to faith and how I often struggle with faith being enough.  I recently finished a long distance book study with a friend for the book, Unglued and it opened me up to a lot of insight into the things that often make me unglued.  I know that I can be unglued and I also know that there are things that I need to fix about myself.

Recently, I have come to the conclusion that I can only fix me, I cannot fix anyone else and I don’t have any apology for anyone who refuses to see that they, too, have flaws.  I know we all have flaws but I have spent a lot time trying to deal with the flaws of others like I could somehow fix them.  One day, something snapped in me and told me, I am only responsible for myself and my children.  I am not responsible for anyone else’s issues or the way they treat others. I am only responsible for my actions and for bringing my children up right.

I found myself very tired – mentally, emotionally and physically.  I thought that the past two years with my brother being sick, passing away, relationship issues, and then my mom’s stroke was the worst of it but I only recently found out that even though I showed strength on the outside, I was hurting and struggling inside. 

While I know that sometimes, I have to have faith in God and in the people that I love, I also have to have faith in myself.  I thought I did but recently, I found that I didn’t.  I was still allowing people to mistreat me and it was tearing me up inside so I snapped and made my feelings known.  I did not make my feelings known right away. It was only what I understand what was happening to me and how I was being treated that I responded.  I am only human, after all.

So, this is me taking a stand and looking inside myself to fix myself.  In the process of doing so, I will no longer allow anyone to manipulate me and treat me in a way that makes me feel less than human.  I know that I have a lot to resolve as far as the people I let into my life and how I let them affect me.  I am finding now that taking a stand is making me a lot happier.  So, yes, the universe wants me to faith in God, in the people that I love and in MYSELF.  And you know what? I am okay with that.

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4 thoughts on “I am okay with that

  1. Beautiful post. We all have to come to the conclusion that we are important, we have to take of ourselves first, before we can help others. XOXOXO

  2. I think you’re great! I too have had to cut off family that cause me emotional pain and stress that make my illness flare up worse. Funny, I felt I needed permission from my therapist to do this. She said “You have to protect yourself”. Best advice I ever got. I’m going to order that book! Thanks for sharing!

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