2. Wasn’t sane part of the job description?
3. What is your title? Head Nut in Charge?
4. And your husband’s title? First Idiot in Charge?
5. What do you call your kids? Nuts in Training?
6. It is a good thing age of consent isn’t determined by maturity or else you would be robbing the cradle. Actually, you would probably be in jail!
7. You went to college for this?
8. You actually went to college?
9. So…you’re the smart one?
10. Do they pay you to put up with this nonsense?
11. How many times a day do you run out screaming for cover?
12. You must love this job!
13. I didn’t know farting was a physical activity.
And last, I’d ask myself if I would change a thing. And the answer to that would be, no. Being the only female in a house full of boys(my husband being the biggest baby of all)means having a sense of humor and as you can see, I do.
Happy Thursday everyone!. To join in on the fun, visit the official home of Thursday Thirteen.
As many of you know, I am the group administrator/creator of the Super Moms Group at Twitter Moms. Anyways, we have this contest going on called Who Has the Funniest Kid? Of course, as the admin for the group, I cannot enter nor win, but it does not mean I cannot join in on the fun. When have I stayed out of any silly and fun? Below are my SILLY nine year old’s responses to the questions.
Ask your child or grandchildren (age 10 and under) to answer the questions and type their answers in.Only one entry per person please.Three anonymous Super Moms will pick our three finalists. Then you will each be given an option to vote. You have until May 13 to enter. I will post the finalists on May 16 and voting will be open until June 6 to cast your vote for the funniest kid. I will announce the prize on May 16.Specify how old the child is. You also must be a member of Twitter Moms.
1. What is something mom always says to you?Never talk to strangers and you stink!
15. What makes you proud of your mom? When she buys me games (talk about kissing up)
I received this email and since I am the expert on nonsense and insanity, I thought I would share.
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they already know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an ‘S’ in the word ‘lisp’?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, ‘It’s all right?’ Well, it isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, ‘That really hurt, why don’t you watch where you’re going?’
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table, you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE……The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends — if they’re okay, then it’s you.
~~~Now share this with friends and make them smile, too!~~~
Chronic widespread body pain is the primary symptom for those with fibromyalgia. Most people also experience moderate to extreme fatigue, sleep disturbances, sensitivity to light, sound and touch, and may have cognitive difficulties. Many suffers may also have overlapping conditions such as irritable bowel syndrome, lupus and arthritis. In many case, I have Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) in addition to FM.
The pain associated with Fibromyalgia can be described as profound, chronic and widespread. It can travel to all parts of the body and vary in terms of intensity. FM pain can be described as stabbing and shooting, deep muscle aching, throbbing and twitching. Neurological complaints include numbness, tingling, and burning that add additional discomfort. Pain and stiffness are often times worse in the morning. Factors that aggravate pain include: cold/humid weather, lack of sleep, physical and/or mental fatigue, excessive physical activity, physical inactivity, anxiety and stress.
Fatigue associated with FM is more than just a feeling of being tired. It can be described as a large scale exhaustion that can get in the way of one’s personal and professional life. Symptoms include extreme and overwhelming exhaustion and lack of energy.
Many fibromyalgia suffers have associated sleep disorders that keep them from getting deep, restful and restorative sleep. Studies have shown that fibromyalgia patients are constantly interrupted by bursts of awake-like brain activity, thus indicating that deep sleep is limited.
Other symptoms and over lapping conditions include, but are not limited to, irritable bowel and bladder, headaches and migraines, restless legs syndrome (periodic limb movement disorder), impaired memory and concentration, skin sensitivities and rashes, dry eyes and mouth, anxiety, depression, ringing in the ears, dizziness, vision problems, Raynaud’s Syndrome, neurological symptoms, and impaired coordination.
Fibromyalgia can be quite difficult to diagnose as there are no current laboratory testing available for diagnosis. Doctors rely on patient history, self-reported symptoms, and a physical examination that looks for specific tender points. The exam criteria is based on the American College of Rheumatology’s guidelines and proper implementation of the exam is practiced to determine the presence of multiple tender points at specific locations on the body.
It is estimated that the average patient can wait up to five years to get an accurate diagnosis. Believe me, I have been there and suffered for many years without accurate diagnosis and even got to a point to where I was embarrassed to seek medical attention because no one could figure out what was wrong with me. The impression I was getting from the numerous health care providers I visited was that it was all my head. The truth is that many doctors are not sufficiently informed or educated about FM. Laboratory results can be negative and many FM symptoms overlap with other conditions which only lead to excessive medical costs and frustration for doctors and their patients. Of significant importance is the consideration of other diseases such as RA or lupus which do not rule out an FM diagnosis. In fact, FM is not a diagnosis that should be excluded and must be diagnosed by its own characteristics and symptoms.
For a doctor to diagnose a patient with FM, the patient must meet the following criteria:
Widespread pain in all four quadrants of the body for a minimum duration of three months
Tenderness or pain in at least 11 of the 18 specified tender points when pressure is applied
Doctors may not know what causes fibromyalgia but associate a variety of factors working together such as genetics, infections and trauma.
Genetics. Because fibromyalgia tends to run in families, there may be certain genetic mutations that may make you more susceptible to developing the disorder.
Infections. Some illnesses appear to trigger or aggravate fibromyalgia.
Physical or emotional trauma. Post-traumatic stress disorder has been linked to fibromyalgia.
As to the pain, there is a theory called “central sensitization.” This theory states that people with fibromyalgia have a lower threshold for pain because of increased sensitivity in the brain to pain signals. Researchers also believe repeated nerve stimulation causes the brains of people with fibromyalgia to change. This change involves an abnormal increase in levels of certain chemicals in the brain that signal pain (neurotransmitters). In addition, the brain’s pain receptors seem to develop a sort of memory of the pain and become more sensitive, meaning they can overreact to pain signals. Source: Mayo Clinic
Treatments for RA include medication, self-care and alternative medicine to minimize symptoms and improve general heath. Medications include: analgesics, anti-depressants and anti-seizure drugs. Lyrica is one of the first drugs approved by the Food and Drug Administration to treat fibromyalgia and results can be seen within seven days on Lyrica treatment. Therapy for Fibromyalgia includes physical therapy and counseling. In addition, self-care is critical in the management of fibromyalgia which includes reducing stress, getting enough sleep, regular exercise, pacing one’s activities and maintaining a healthily lifestyle. Alternative medicine can include: massage therapy, chiropractic care and acupuncture.
Currently, there is no cure for Fibromyalgia, but better ways of diagnosis and treatment continue through research and development. Since June of 2007, the FDA has introduced several no medications for treatment, including Lyrica and many others are currently in development phase. Research efforts are expanding as well. According to the National Fibromyalgia Association: “In 1990 there were approximately 200 published research papers on fibromyalgia studies. Today there are more than 4,000 published reports”.
I have learned many things about dealing with several chronic pain conditions. One that specifically comes to mind is the lack of understanding about conditions such as rheumatoid arthritis, lupus and fibromyalgia. All that we can do is educate ourselves, our families, friends and coworkers. In addition, it helps to know you are not alone. Organizations such as the Arthritis Foundation, the American Chronic Pain Association and the National Fibromyalgia Association (FMA) provide classes and support groups. These groups can often provide help and advice that cannot be found elsewhere. They can also put you in touch with others who are going through the same things and can understand what it is you are going through.
2009 National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day
The major theme for this year’s National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day campaign is “Fibromyalgia Affects Everyone” and will “focus on the far-reaching effects of this disorder—from broken lives to the economic costs to patients and society.” For more information on this important event, click HERE and you will be directed to FMA’s awareness day page. I will blog some more about the 2009 awareness day on May 12.
Go to ProFlowers.com and click on radio offers. When prompted for the code enter: wgar.com. I am sure other radio stations have promotions, but since this is my favorite station – this is was my promo.
Includes 25 stems of Peruvian lilies, 100 blooms per bouquet and the vase is free.
It is that simple. What a deal! And I am not used to getting deals so I am absolutely excited about this one.
And the lesson here folks: Don’t forget Mom or she will remind you.
Yesterday’s Backlash match between Jeff Hardy and Matt Hardy started when Jeff entered with no face paint. Apparently, the outcome of this match was to determine whether Jeff Hardy would renew his contract with the WWE. Jeff takes control right from the start of the match and gets Matt outside the ring and hits a plancha. (A plancha is accepted term in American wrestling for a slingshot crossbody where the wrestler goes from the inside of the ring over the top ring rope to the outside.) He then sends Matt against a ring barrier. Next, Jeff gets Matt back into the ring and delivers a mule kick. Jeff continues to dominate the match. At one point, Matt gains the advantage and Matt gets Jeff into a figure four lock but Jeff refuses to quit. (A figure-four neck lock is when one opponent wraps his legs around the neck of the other. Basically – a head lock or choke.) Jeff eventually turns over this move and takes the advantage.
Jeff than uses a Texas Clover Leaf move and Matt taps out but the referee won’t stop because Matt does not utter the words “I quit.” (According to Wikipedia, this move is when the wrestler stands at the feet of his opponent, grabs the opponent’s legs and lifts them up. The wrestler then bends one leg so that the shin is behind the knee of the straight leg and places the ankle of the straight leg in their armpit. With the same arm, they reach around the ankle and through the opening formed by the legs, and lock their hands together. The wrestler then steps over his opponent, turning the opponent over as in a sharpshooter and proceeds to squat and lean back. The hold compresses the legs, flexes the spine, and stretches the abdomen.) The ref asks Matt if he wants to quit and he says he won’t. Jeff hits a twist of fate (The the wrestler first applies a front facelock, the wrestler tucks their arm under the opponents chin after pivoting 180 degrees inward and bringing themselves into the cutter. The Twist of Fate was innovated and popularized by Matt Hardy and was most famously used by all the members of Team Xtreme: Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, and Lita) and follows it with a swanton bomb. Matt still refuses to quit and Jeff follows with a second swanton (In this move, the attacking wrestler executes a quick front somersault off the top turnbuckle, before landing on the opponent back-first as in a regular senton. It can also be performed from a standing position.)
At this point, Jeff goes outside the ring and brings back into the ring a table. Before he gets an opportunity to use the table, both brothers are back outside the ring and Jeff hits Matt with a twist of fate and throws Matt back into the ring. Jeff sets Matt up on the table and goes back under the ring and grabs duct tape and a rope! He duct tapes Matt’s feet together on the table, and then duct tapes Matt’s wrists together. He then ties Matt up to the table with the rope. He then gets a ladder and climbs the top. By this point, Matt is apologizing and says he loves Jeff. Matt keeps saying he loves Jeff who listens. Matt tells Jeff that their parents would not want this. Before Jeff can jump off the ladder, Matt says he is ready to quit. Jeff splashes Matt on the table anyway.
Jeff is the winner of this match. Well, I am glad this feud is over-for now. My nine year old is even more relieved.
For more information of on the moves and holds in professional wrestling, visit the following links.
Wrestling – yet another reason I love being a mom to boys.
I never win. Never in my life have I won anything. Well, except for those four men in my life, but I don’t recall that I entered any contests when it came to that prize. Anyhow, go over and stalk Brandy’s blog. She has a dinner giveaway going on. While you are there, let Brandy know that I gave her this shout out and her is blog is awesome – more nonsensical than mine- so you may actually stick around and follow. And don’t forget to tell Brandy that I wanna win!
This song is stuck in head. I think Randy Orton is starting to grow on me.
1. What are your current obsessions?
Wrestling, Blogging and Social Networking.
2. Which item from your wardrobe do you wear most often?
Those ugly brown flip-flops that I refuse to throw out.
3. What’s for dinner?
Why? Did I invite you?
4. Last thing you bought?
Toys for my boys and some brownies from that expensive bakery down the street.
5. What are you listening to?
The new Rascal Flatts album “Unstoppable.” I can’t get enough. And the neighbors, they are always arguing.
6. If you were a god/goddess who would you be?
Athena- the Greek Goddess of Wisdom. Athena was said to be one of the most benevolent of the goddesses . . . strong, fair, and merciful. She must have been a mom.
8. Reading right now?Current obsession
“Busy Woman Seeks Wife”. Now, why didn’t I think of that?
9. 4 words to describe yourself.
Crazy, happy, lovable and full of nonsense.
10. Guilty pleasure?
Those darn brownies from that expensive bakery down the street.
11. Who or what makes you laugh until you’re weak?
My kids – No matter what, they are my strength and all they have to do is giggle and I forget everything.
That, or the drugs might actually be working – just an after thought.
12. Planning to travel to next?
Dreaming about Italy, but probably going to NYC.
13. Best thing you ate or drank lately?
Those darn brownies.
14. When did you last get tipsy?
I don’t recall. A few New Years ago when I actually had a life.
15. Care to share some wisdom?
Don’t sweat the small stuff. It is just small stuff.
16. Nicest thing anyone’s ever said to you?
I love you, even in the morning, Mommy. Wow, even when I look my worst, they love me!
Thank you for playing this week on Sunday Stealing! To join in on all the fun, visit Judd at the official home of Sunday Stealing. And I – that Judd better not steal my meme because I have no idea where I stole it from and that might require an explanation. It must have been that night I got all-tipsy.
On April 10, Matt and Jeff Hardy continued their feud right where they left off at Wrestlemania 25 with an exhausting first-ever stretcher match. Matt defeated Jeff in this match.
Last Friday night on Smack Down, it was Matt Hardy and Kane against Jeff Hardy and C.M. Punk. Jeff started out in the ring with Kane. Matt took advantage of Jeff’s torture by Kane, jumping him and hitting Jeff with moves that Jeff could hardly survive. This was one boring match and all it did was tire Jeff Hardy and put me to sleep. Eventually Matt got the pin fall for another victory against Jeff.
Matt and Jeff are going to get one more opportunity at Backlash today to see which brother will quit. Matt Hardy feels that he is “the superior Hardy” and he is motivated by jealousy and anger, Matt is going to do everything in his power to prove his superiority and erase Jeff Hardy “from memory.” The Extreme Rules match at Wrestlemania 25 and the Stretcher match a couple weeks back were not enough to end the emotional rage that we have seen in the last few months. The brothers have paid no regard to referees or rules and only continue attacks every week on one another. The match at Backlash will be no different. In fact, there will be no pin falls, no count-outs nor disqualifications.
Simply, the “I Quit” Match will allow the brothers to duel until one of them utters the two words: “I quit” and from what we have seen in recent weeks, it could be either brother.
I think the winner of this match will be Jeff Hardy and this match will be the end of the feud. Who isn’t getting tired of the feud between the two brothers? Perhaps Papa Hardy will come by and stop this match before it starts. Matt Hardy is on his way to Monday Night Raw this Monday and it is predicted that he will reignite his old feud with MVP. And the sooner the better – because the Jeff-Matt Hardy feud has been trying my nine year old’s patience. And that is good news since I can now find a new WWE feud to focus on – like the one currently brewing between long time rivals, Edge and John Cena.