No one ever points out the perfect life to you and tells you go out there and get it. No one ever says it will easy be or hard or full of curves. No one ever tells you that there will be times of joy and times of sadness. No one ever tells you that adversity can strike at any moment. No one ever says that life can be tragic and that you loss and heartache can strike at any moment.
People don’t tell much about the bad stuff. They don’t tell you RA could strike when you are a young mother in early 30s. They don’t tell you that chronic illness can contribute the dissolution of your marriage. They don’t tell you that not everyone stands by their vows. They don’t tell how tough being a single parent is. They don’t tell you that you have to worry about your job every day because you don’t have a backup person. You don’t even have a backup person for when your kids get sick and you have to leave work or even when you get sick.
I don’t think anyone ever warned me about the bad stuff but you know what? I am glad they didn’t. In the past few years, I have figured out who I am and what I want out of life. I am happy despite chronic illness, despite being a single mother, and despite worrying about anything and everything. I am happy! I have two healthy children, a great job and I am an advocate and freelance writer. And granted I have my moments, but I am happy most of the time.
I was told I would be disabled by now but I continue to surprise everyone including myself. There are people who are healthy who aren’t capable of the things I am. Once upon a time, I thought that I had to be this person that everyone expected me to be but chronic illness taught me that life is too short. I am here for my happiness and my children’s – not anyone else’s.
I stopped caring about the bad stuff. Sometimes, the bad stuff comes back like the times when my symptoms are out of control and there is no end in sight. But I keep going on because I know that if I don’t, I will give up and I don’t want to do that. It was a year ago that I realized that my depression was lifting and now a year later, I have never felt more blessed than I do now.
I haven’t blogged here in quite some time. I have been busy and doing my best to just stay healthy and it hasn’t been easy but it is what it is. I started writing a couple novels and while I got the stories out, I never really got around to the editing and finalizing. My plate is full but I hope to one day finish and publish those. And I am still writing my chronic illnesses articles and I am still trying to survive the 9 to 5.
I am doing well and I will continue to do so. Of course, this blog has taken the least priority and it will have to for the time being. You guys all know where to find me on Facebook and my advocacy sites. I hope everyone is doing well this time of the year and I am hopeful I will be here blogging soon enough.